I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
