how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
