Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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