oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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