when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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