the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
