fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
