It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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