We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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