i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
