Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize