Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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