They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
