I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
