Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
