That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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