Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
