Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
