He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
