whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Your dad touched me again.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
