no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
