her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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