You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
