I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We need a shit load of segways right now
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
