I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
no. you can't hotbox the world.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
