nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
