You made me cry and you don't even care
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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