Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
