4 words: hood of his car
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
