from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
