I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
