Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
