I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
