all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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