some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
