i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
