When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
