the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
