speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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