Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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