Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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