Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize