We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
