no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
