Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
