I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
ttyl tear gas
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
