Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Found the puke drawer
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize