Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
