He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
