i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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