Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
