Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
