i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
