I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
