the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
