I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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