Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
40s are totally the cure
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
