I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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