if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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